Confession Guide for Adults

MESSAGE FROM THE RECTOR

Both parishioners and many others from across our diocese seek out Saint Patrick’s as a “sanctuary of mercy”, most clearly in the ministry of confession which is so readily available here.  I want to offer some pastoral guidance for those coming to confession.  What can be said in the context of a web message is limited but it is important to offer some counsel.
 
Firstly, what is the focus of confession?  After an examination of conscience, the penitent should indicate to the confessor the time since their last confession and then in concise fashion, identify by name and number of occurrences, the sins that they have committed since their last confession.  One should not confess sins which have already been confessed and for which absolution has been given.  If a person wishes to do a “general confession of life”, the proper context would be during a retreat of some days in a retreat centre or religious house.  As confession should be concise, it is not necessary – nor helpful unless asked by the confessor – to give your history of the sin, nor examples. 
 
Secondly, what should be the frequency of regular confession?  It is my considered view that one should not be going to confession more than weekly.  The Church requires that we go to confession at least once a year. The traditional practice has been monthly confession. As for the frequent confessions of the saints, the example that is helpful from modern times is that of Pope St. John Paul II. He went to confession weekly. Going to confession more than once per week creates a number of concerns:  1° the danger of scrupulosity is evident which leads us to look only at ourselves, and at our faults, and not rely on God’s mercy;  2° too frequent confession begins to put the emphasis on what “I” do and my practices – a sort of semi-pelagianism – and not on the mercy of God which is the focus of the sacrament;  3° if we are too busy preparing to go to confession and going to confession, we run the danger of not taking the time to see the mercy of God working in our lives.  What should we do, then, if we are aware of serious sin before our next weekly confession?  This may be the situation where one should attend mass, receiving the graces that come from praying with the faith community, and fast from receiving the host.  It would be best to celebrate the weekly confession so as to receive communion on Sunday (or the Saturday Vigil Mass of Sunday) which is the primary feast day of Catholics.  What if I am in danger of death and am aware of unforgiven serious sin?  Call a priest.  If a priest is not available, then make a perfect act of contrition relying on God’s mercy.  The Church through the Sacrament of Confession is at the service of God’s mercy.  God’s mercy is vaster than the Church whose mission is to make known, celebrate and be a minister of His Mercy.

Finally, it is not necessary to confess venial (minor) sins, although it is a good practice to confess them in a monthly confession.  With respect to our minor sins, we can rely on the penitential rite at the beginning of mass where we ask God for pardon and peace in order to be properly disposed for the celebration of the sacred mysteries.

 - Fr. Kevin

EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE FOR ADULTS 

1. I am the Lord your God. You shall not have strange gods before me.
   • Do I give God time every day in prayer?
   • Do I seek to love Him with my whole heart?
   • Have I been involved with superstitious practices or have I been involved with the occult? (fortune telling, horoscopes, good-luck charms, tarot cards, palmistry, Ouija boards, seances, reincarnation?)
   • Do I seek to surrender myself to God´s word as taught by the Church? Did I deny that I was Catholic?
   • Have I ever received communion in the state of mortal sin?
   • Did I despair of or presume on God's mercy?
   • Have I ever deliberately told a lie in Confession or have I withheld a mortal sin from the priest in Confession?
   • Are there other "gods" in my life? Money, Security, Drugs, Fame, Power, People, etc.?
   • Do we really want to be transformed by the will of God, or do we just use our religion in order to "look" like good Christian people?
   • Do we claim to have good values, but often bend or abandon them in order to fit in and be "part of the group?"


2. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
   • Have I used God´s name in vain: lightly or carelessly?
   • Have I been angry with God?
   • Have I wished evil upon any other person?
   • Did I curse, or break an oath or vow?
   • Have I insulted a sacred person or abused a sacred object?


3. Remember to keep holy the Lord´s Day.
   • Have I deliberately missed Mass on Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation?
   • Have I tried to observe Sunday as a family day and a day of rest?
   • Do I do needless work on Sunday?
   • Did I show reverence in the presence of Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament?


4. Honor your father and your mother.
   • Do I honor and obey my parents?
   • Did I neglect my duties to my husband, wife, children or parents?
   • Did I fail to educate myself on the true teachings of the Church?
   • Did I fail to actively take an interest in the religious education and formation of my children?
   • Have I given my family good religious example, especially to the young?
   • Do I try to bring peace into my home life?
   • Do I care for my aged and infirm relatives?
   • Did I cause anyone to leave the faith?
   • Did I cause tension and fights in my family?
   • Did I give a full day's work for a full day's pay?
   • Did I give a fair wage to my employees?


5. You shall not kill.
   • Have I had an abortion or encouraged or helped anyone to have an abortion?
   • Have I physically harmed anyone?
   • Did I use or cause my spouse to use birth control pills (whether or not realizing that birth control pills do abort the fetus if and when conceived)?
   • Did I attempt suicide?
   • Have I abused alcohol or drugs, fighting, quarreling?
   • Did I give scandal to anyone, thereby leading him or her into sin?
   • Have I been angry or resentful, impatient, envious, unkind, proud, revengeful, jealous, lazy?
   • Have I harbored hatred in my heart?
   • Do we use our powers of influence well, especially our voting rights, in order to fight war, oppression, abortion and injustice, or do we allow those evils to continue by our apathy and our silence?
   • Have I mutilated myself through any form of sterilization?
   • Have I encouraged or condoned sterilization?
   • Have I engaged, in any way, in sins against humanlife such as artificial insemination or in vitro fertilization?
   • Have I participated in or approved of euthanasia?
   • Did I abuse my children?


6. You shall not commit adultery.

   Note: In the area of deliberate sexual sins listed below, all are mortal sins if there is sufficient reflection and full consent of the will. "No fornicators, idolaters, or adulterers, no sodomites,... will inherit the kingdom of God." (1 Cor 6:9-10) "Anyone who looks lustfully at a woman has already committed adultery with her in his thoughts." (Mt 5:28)

   • Do we respect the dignity of the human body and the holiness of Christian marriage? Do we show that respect in our speech, or are crude language and jokes often part of our conversations?
   • Did I abuse my marriage rights?
   • Did I commit impure acts with another - fornication (premarital sex), adultery (sex with a married person)?
   • Have I used any method of contraception or artificial birth control in my marriage?(by pills, device, withdrawal)
   • Has each sexual act in my marriage been open to the transmission of new life?
   • Have I been guilty of masturbation?
   • Have I been guilty of any homosexual activity?
   • Did I willfully entertain impure thoughts or desires?
   • Have I respected all members of the opposite sex, or have I thought of other people as mere objects? Did I deliberately look at impure TV, videos, plays, pictures or movies? Or deliberately read impure materials?
   • Do I seek to be chaste in my thoughts, words, actions?
   • Did I avoid the occasions of impurity?
   • Am I careful to dress modestly?
   • Did I marry or advise anyone to marry outside the Church?


7. You shall not steal.
   • Did I steal, help or encourage others to steal or keep stolen goods?
   • Have I returned or made restitution for what I have stolen?
   • Do I waste time at work, school, and home?
   • Do I gamble excessively, thereby denying my family of their needs?
   • Do I pay my debts promptly?
   • Do I seek to share what I have with the poor?
   • Have I cheated anyone out of what is justly theirs, for example creditors, insurance companies, big corporations?
   • Did I envy other people's families or possessions?


8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
   • Have I lied? Did I deliberately deceive others, or injure others by lies?
   • Did I gossip or reveal others' faults or sins?
   • Do I speak badly of others behind their back?
   • Am I sincere in my dealings with others?
   • Am I critical, negative or uncharitable in my thoughts of others?
   • Do I keep secret what should be kept confidential?
   • Have I injured the reputation of others by slanders?


9. You shall not desire your neighbor´s wife.
   • Have I consented to impure thoughts?
   • Have I caused them by impure reading, movies, television, conversation or curiosity?
   • Do I pray at once to banish impure thoughts and temptations?
   • Have I behaved in an inappropriate way with members of the opposite sex: flirting, being superficial, etc.?
   • Have we weakened or damaged our marriage commitment through our obsession with another person?
   • Do we respect the commitments of others and help them remain faithful to their promises?
   • Do we treat our marriages casually in our conversations and attitudes? Have we said or done anything which made a mockery of our sacred promises?


10. You shall not desire your neighbor´s goods.
    • Are we satisfied with what God has given us, or are we jealous of those who seem to have more?
    • Do we appreciate our own good qualities, or do we constantly compare ourselves with others and become resentful or bitter?
    • Do I envy the families or possessions of others?
    • Do we try to prove we are better than others by bragging or buying more things?
    • Am I greedy or selfish?
    • Do we cope well with the problems that confront us and maintain our Christian hope in spite of hard times and difficulties?
    • Are material possessions the purpose of my life?
    • Do we truly "seek first the Kingdom of God" in our lives and place our trust in Him?
    • Do we reflect the peace, hope and joy of a people redeemed and made holy by the Blood of Christ?

HOW TO GO TO CONFESSION

1. You always have the option to go to confession anonymously, that is, behind a screen or face to face, if you so desire.
2. After the priest greets you in the name of Christ, make the sign of the cross. He may choose to recite a reading from Scripture, after which you say: "Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been (state how long) since my last confession. These are my sins."
3. Tell your sins simply and honestly to the priest. You might even want to discuss the circumstances and the root causes of your sins and ask the priest for advice or direction.
4. Listen to the advice the priest gives you and accept the penance from him. Then make an Act of Contrition for your sins.
   
   An Act of Contrition 
   O my God,
   I am heartily sorry for having offended You,
   and I detest all my sins,
   because I dread the loss of heaven,
   and the pains of hell;
   but most of all because they offend You, my God,
   Who are all good and deserving of all my love.
   I firmly resolve, with the help of Your grace,
   to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life.
   Amen. 
    
5. The priest will then dismiss you. If he says: "Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. You respond: "For His mercy endures forever." The priest will then conclude with: "The Lord has freed you from your sins. Go in peace." You respond by saying: "Thanks be to God."
6. Spend some time with Our Lord thanking and praising Him for the gift of His mercy. Try to perform your penance as soon as possible.

PRAYER BEFORE CONFESSION

O most merciful God! Prostrate at your feet, I implore your forgiveness. I sincerely desire to leave all my evil ways and to confess my sins with all sincerity to you and to your priest. I am a sinner, have mercy on me, O Lord. Give me a lively faith and a firm hope in the Passion of my Redeemer. Give me, for your mercy´s sake a sorrow for having offended so good a God. Mary, my mother, refuge of sinners, pray for me that I may make a good confession. Amen.